ɰʘɳɖɘɾ w h y ?
by Twin Kats
Summary: Everyone has their regrets, but being able to let go is the trick. Storyline to a video entered for the auditions round of the Invisible Cities Tournament on YouTube


ɰʘɳɖɘɾ w h y ?

They were all friends, once upon a time. Lightning, Cloud, Tifa and the others; then Serah disappeared, then Aerith, and Zack. One by one the entire gang just vanished off the face of the earth. No one had an explanation, and all that was left were memories and photographs.

Tifa wanted to move on. She wanted to pull Cloud and Lightning out of the memories of the past, away from the photographs. Lightning and Cloud didn't want to give up hope that the others were still out there, still alive. They knew there had to be an explanation, somewhere, about what had happened. They didn't want to let go.

It was Lightning who came back with the news. She'd finally found a lead on what had happened to their friends. Apparently sometime after the downfall of Shinra – of which all that remained were Rufus and a scant few of his Turks – the reigning government of their world known simply as the Sanctum had taken first Serah, and then the others. It was because of their closeness to the Shinra family; to the former leaders of their world.

Lightning brought the news on a slow day at the bar. Tifa was washing her dishes and listening to the radio broadcast from the WRO Director—an old friend who'd cut ties long ago. Cloud was against the wall, his head bowed deep in thought as Lightning had spoken. It reminded Tifa of the 'glory' days, as part of AVALANCHE under the Plate. How together they planned to bring down Shinra.

If only they knew of the pain it'd bring, of the darkness that was the Sanctum that would rise out of Shinra's ashes.

Tifa didn't want to hear more. She turned off the water, set her dishes down, and cleaned her hands. Lightning and Cloud could speak about their plans out of her ears. She wanted no part of this. She ignored Cloud as he called after her, she ignored the phone. Instead she stared at the photographs, a reminder of happier times.

If only they hadn't brought down Shinra…

"Tifa…"

Cloud had followed her up the stairs. He hoped somehow to make the hurt better, and if bringing down the Sanctum worked well…they'd already done it once. How hard could it be to topple another Government? He wanted Tifa to see that, but the pain on her face looking at that photograph; the memories of the darkness before the dawning light…and to face that darkness again—he wouldn't let Tifa be a part of it.

Cloud willingly stepped aside as Tifa brushed passed him, a blur. He said nothing; he didn't bother to stop her. He didn't bother to answer Yuffie's cries for his attention. He just stood there.

* * *

><p>When Tifa had returned, and Shinra's Turks had arrived, they settled down for the night to plan. Cloud stared outside at the dark sky, his thoughts churning. They could right the wrongs of the past, but this wasn't about the past. This wasn't about righting wrongs. He could see that clearly. This was about those they'd lost unknowingly. This was about survival.<p>

"This time, we settle it," he said softly and stepped away from the window. Once and for all they'll end this madness, the disease upon the land. If it meant reinstating Shinra then so be it; at least Rufus desired to atone for his mistakes, to learn from his past.

Tifa was more reluctant to go against another Government; their lives were better without Shinra rule, but she felt keenly the loss of their friends. Zack, Aerith, Serah, Fang—she could still remember how they just vanished into the night. If this was the path Cloud desired to travel down—that her friends desired to travel down…she would gladly join them and fight.

But Cloud didn't want her involved in this fight. He knew her reluctance, and while he knew she was capable he didn't want to lose anyone else. Especially not her, not Tifa.

"Listen," Cloud told her, "even if I go far away. I'll come back."

Lightning just rolled her eyes and looked away. She could understand Cloud's reluctance—she hadn't liked the thought of Serah fighting either, but they could use all the help they could get. "It's hard to picture a happy ending," she said, almost coldly. Cloud would be crippling them without Tifa.

Tifa wanted to know the truth of the matter, though. She wouldn't let this situation to rest—she wouldn't remain behind unless she knew why Cloud didn't want her in the group. Oh she'd do as he said, reluctantly, but only if he told her the truth.

"It scares you, doesn't it?" she asked. The chance of dying—of _any_ of them dying.

Especially her. Especially Tifa.

"Yeah."

* * *

><p>They met out in the forests and started their crusade against the Sanctum. Tifa remained behind, but not by choice. Cloud forced the others to leave in the dead of the night; he didn't want Tifa to be a part of this. So far she'd avoided the fallout of Shinra's downfall and the Sanctums quiet wrath—and if Rufus was to be believed she wasn't even on their hitlist. She would be safer at the bar, watching the orphans.<p>

Their group was small, just Lightning, Sazh, Vanille, Hope and Cloud. They spent days, weeks on the road, fighting whomever was an enemy. Campaigning the downfall of the Sanctum they were for the most part successful.

Then one night Cloud had a dream. It was about Tifa; she was standing by Zack's memorial on Gaea's Cliff. When he arrived she shook her head, she told him 'no' and backed away. He didn't understand, why was she walking away from him? He woke just before she stepped off the edge of the cliff, gasping her name. He sat up swiftly and looked to the television the others were watching. There was a news report on.

"Recently captured [is] one Tifa Lockheart, [rebel] against—"

"Tifa!" Cloud turned away from the screen, horrified and angry. Tifa was _hurt_ when she was supposed to be _protected_! "Who did this?"

Lightning clutched her switchblade. It had become a security blanket over the years; Serah's last gift to her. She had vanished a scant few years later, and so Lightning cherished the weapon more dearly than her gunblade.

"It's my fault," she said. Cloud didn't believe her; oh he believed she blamed herself, which she did. To Lightning it was rightfully her fault. If she hadn't planned this crusade—if she hadn't imagined this entire scenario—Tifa would be safe.

* * *

><p>Lightning and Cloud's friendship strained. Each blamed themselves for Tifa's capture. Cloud blamed himself for not letting Tifa come along, and Lightning for starting this whole thing to begin with. Everything came to a head some weeks down the road as the party camped out. Cloud and Lightning moved away from the rest, settled by the lakeside. Above them the moon shined bright; it was almost peaceful out here, away from civilization.<p>

"I'm not fit to help anyone," he told Lightning. He'd been thinking more and more on giving up their quest to end yet another corrupt government. Lightning wanted to punch a tree at his antics.

"Stop it!" she screamed and Cloud jerked his head up to her. "I made a mistake!" She looked away from him and clenched her fist. "I didn't want to think, so I fought instead. I was running away."

It was all they'd been doing. Cloud realized that now. From the very start they were running away—away from their past; away from the memories. They used everything as a façade to fight, to forget about why the felt so miserable. They were all _excuses!_ Tifa saw it, Tifa even told them.

All Tifa wanted was to live a life of peace. They ruined that.

Cloud bowed his head. Could they be forgiven for messing up so bad? He asked Lightning if she knew. Lightning just shook her head.

"Have her tell you, when she comes back," she told Cloud. _When_ she comes back, Cloud noted. Not if. _When_ Tifa comes back.

They'd get Tifa back. Cloud nodded. "Okay."

* * *

><p>After they'd left to bring down the Sanctum, Cloud and the others, Tifa found herself all alone. She'd spent years waiting for Cloud, waiting for him to come back to her. She spent years fighting for Cloud, fighting for freedom from Shinra that took her home. Cloud still hadn't come back to her.<p>

Oh for a while it'd seemed like she had her old spiky haired crush back, and that everything would work out, but she didn't. Tifa realized that now; Cloud hadn't come home. He was still off adventuring with Aerith and Zack, and when they disappeared…he grew ever the more distant.

She was wondering if it was worth it anymore, to wait for her SOLDIER to come home. Tifa was beginning to think it wasn't. Her Cloud was long, long gone. He was lost to his past, his memories, and all his regrets. He couldn't let go and continue on.

Tifa realized she'd have to do it for him. So she let go, and she left. Tifa wandered for a while, searching for something. She didn't know what. She didn't even know when she'd find it. Just that someday, somewhere, she'll end up where she needs to. No more waiting around for a boy that wasn't coming home. No more clinging to the past.

Tifa Lockheart let go, and fell.

_And she lifted up on pearly wings, free of burdens and regrets._

* * *

><p>This is the story behind a video for the <strong>Invisible Cities Tournament<strong>. I decided to go with option two of the auditions round with the theme of Letting Go. Deceptively my video appears to be all about Lightning and Cloud, but in reality the entire story is about Tifa and her decision to let go of the past. The others can't let go, they can't move on, but Tifa attempts to, and in a way she succeeds. If she lives or dies is questionable, and ambigious for this story. She might've, she might not. For the story/video itself look up XadoheSaruvi on YouTube. It'll be on that account. Same title.


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